It’s time for a monthly update on adventures in backyard marijuana farming. My legal plants, as you probably know, are named after Western Virginia politicians. And there’s lots of news to share.
I have three growing on my rear deck, which is beginning to resemble a jungle. It’s now accurate to call them bushes. One’s named for Roanoke Mayor Sherman Lea, a Democrat. Another is named after state Del. Chris Head, R-Botetourt.
Both of those I grew from seeds. The third plant was a giveaway, grown from a cutting that I picked up at a Glenvar cannabis festival in May.
Until now, she’s been unnamed. Some readers have suggested calling her “Obama,” or ”Gov. Glenn Youngkin.” But more suggested naming her after state Del. Marie March, R-Floyd, the rootin’ tootin’ conservative cowgirl and restaurateur. And that gives readers from the New River Valley some skin in this game.
Of the three, Sherman Lea has grown the tallest. He’s just above 6 feet measured off the deck. But I’m worried about him because lots of the leaves, mostly lower, have been turning yellow then brown. I plucked a bunch of those off but it still seems to be spreading.
I can’t figure out why. Sherman Lea is growing in the same cannabis-specific soil, and has been getting the same amount of slightly acidified water and cannabis-specific fertilizer as the other two, which are going gangbusters.
My consultant, Herbology columnist Nick Clifton, has been out of town recently but will be dropping by for a look-see soon.
The Del. Chris Head plant is roughly half an inch shorter. She’s got slightly bigger leaves, which are a lush dark green, and she’s budding up a storm. Some of Chris Head’s branches seem to have a bud every 2 to 3 inches. Those future flowers are where the good stuff is.
“I try to be quiet, unassuming, productive and effective,” Head told me in a text Monday, after I’d sent him a photo. “Looks like my namesake has the first three checked off. You’ll have to let me know about effective.”
Head added: “I am conflicted and wondering if I should start praying for an unseasonably early hard frost.”
Perish that notion — a hard frost will kill my babies! Chris Head the delegate has never tried marijuana. But Chris Head the plant looks like he could be ready for consumption by early November. We’ll see. I hope the state delegate is patient, because good things take time.
The Del. Marie March plant is the shortest of the three. So far, she stands about 5 feet 6 inches off the deck. Her leaves are narrower, and a lighter green. And she is by far the bushiest of my three plants.
Besides yellowing leaves on Sherman Lea, the only other issue I’ve been having with the plants concerns one of my two cats, Owsley. He was a rescue kitten my daughter, Anna, gave me for Christmas a few years ago. (I named him after Owsley Stanley, the late UVa dropout, Grateful Dead soundman and infamous underground chemist.) Owsley the cat has been nibbling at the lower leaves of my cannabis plants during his morning sojourns on the deck. I reckon I’m not the only creature in the household with a fondness for marijuana.
If you recall, there were two other plants — named for U.S. Rep. Ben Cline, R-Botetourt, and state Del. Sam Rasoul, D-Roanoke — that I had to kill because they turned out to be males. (If pollen from a male plant fertilizes a female plant, it will drastically reduce the yield of her flowers.)
And I gave away three others plants to friends, mindful that Virginia law limits legal home grows to four plants per household.
One was named for U.S. Rep. Morgan Griffith, R-Salem. He got planted in a back yard in Raleigh Court. He grew taller than 6 feet — but he turned out to be a male. It was easy to tell from the clusters of pollen pods he was developing, instead of buds.
So my Raleigh Court friend had to uproot the Morgan Griffith plant. Sorry, congressman.
The David Bowers plant, named for the former two-time Roanoke mayor and city councilman, is growing in a 15-gallon grow bag on a deck in southwest Roanoke. He’s way taller than 7 feet and has recently grown above the roofline of his owner’s home.
Friday by chance I was covering an event on Mill Mountain that Bowers also attended. And he took the occasion to inquire about his namesake.
“It’s more than 7 feet tall,” I bragged. And I showed him a picture.
“When’s that going to be ready?” he asked.
I’m planning on harvesting the plants around the end of September; then they need to be hung and cured, kind of like tobacco. After two to three weeks of that, the plants need to be debudded. Then the buds need trimming and an additional curing period.
“Around the end of October,” I told Bowers. “I’ll invite you to the sampling party.”
“I won’t inhale,” Bowers promised. Right!
The last plant in the crop is named for U.S. Rep. Bob Good, R-Campbell County. I gave him to a friend in Floyd County, who planted him in the ground.
Like David Bowers, the Bob Good plant is transgender. It came from a ”feminized” seed (guaranteed to grow a female plant) and is the same champion strain — Blayloc — from the Hoku Seed Co.
The Blayloc strain produces behemoth cannabis plants. They look like something out of “Jack and the Giant Beanstalk.”
Anyway, Bob Good the plant is taller than my Floyd friend’s stepladder. And Bob Good appears lusher and thicker with leaves than David Bowers. Perhaps that’s because Bob Good’s growing in the ground, rather than in a pot.
As you may or may not know, Aug. 15 is the point on the calendar that outdoor cannabis plants in Western Virginia begin blooming. That’s when buds — or pollen sacs, on male plants — are taking shape. The budding process will last about six weeks.
And buds are the whole point of this exercise. I better not catch Owsley the cat munching on those!
